Written & Edited by: Lee Fenton

-Diehard: 

Let’s start with the classic we all know and love. 

Or anybody with a respectable taste in 80s action films does - anyway. 

Honestly I don’t know what to tell you, if you can’t get behind this epic tale of Christmas ‘bad-ass-ery’.

John McClane (Bruce Willis); a regular joe who happens to be visiting his wife and two daughters - during a trial separation, has to contend with a group of terrorists who begin taking hostages at the business plaza his wife works at. Now this would be too much for most tough guys but there’s just one thing I forgot to mention, John McClane ain’t a delivery-man, or an insurance broker, no, he happens to be a seasoned member of the NYPD.

McClane just wants to have a relaxing Christmas Eve with his family - instead, he ends up battling armed thugs in a hostage rescue operation, all the while communicating with the stunned news and media people outside, as well as a host of NYPD and FBI agents who have gathered around the besieged tower. 

 Plus the acclaimed Alan Rickman plays the ultra-iconic villain “Hans Gruber”.

What more could you want?

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:

What a film!

I love this little satirical homage to noir thrillers of the past. Robert Downey Jr. stars as ‘Harry Lockhart’, a down on his luck criminal who has to rob just to make ends meet.

In one of the early scenes of the film, we find him stealing his son a Christmas present from a toy store, and having trouble finding the damn thing. When the police are alerted by a neighbour (and his partner is shot in the process of running away), Harry has to ditch and run into a nearby audition - in an attempt to escape incarceration. This leads to him delivering a pitch perfect performance, comedy ensues and we soon find him on his way to Hollywood.

That was the gist of the set-up for the movie.

 And without giving away too much, Robert Downey Jr. is later paired with Val Kilmer who plays a detective named ‘Perry Van Shrike’ (or “Gay” Perry) that’s been paid to allow Harry to shadow him.

Harry’s upcoming role is that of a police officer - which really is an elegant mirroring of the first part of the film. He will soon be playing the role of an officer of the law - even though in real life he was employed as a criminal - shortly before.

There’s also a nice subplot involving the love interest - who’s addicted to noir thriller books, and happens to have known our protagonist from a young age. Her name is ‘Harmony Lane’ and she’s played fabulously by Michelle Monoghan. The character is well integrated into the film and doesn’t feel like your average romantic lead - instead she informs the motif of the film with her penchant for detective novels. 

Not to mention the chemistry between Monoghan and Downey Jr. is absolutely off the hook. They both shine bright in their respective roles and are evidently enjoying what each other are “putting down”. Sometimes it feels like one actor can’t hold a torch to the other, which causes believability or likeability to suffer. Not here.

This is just some straight up, solid riffing.

Honestly one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen.

And wittiest. 

I think it’s more witty - than anything. 

Oh, I almost forgot, you get to see Val Kilmer give Robert Downey Jr. a big ole’ slap to the face!

I feel like that last statement was over-simplified, but it really is one of the funniest scenes in the movie. Before I watched this, I had no idea how hilarious they both could be! 

There's constant back-and-forth with these two throughout the film and it amounts to a loving rendition of the straight man and funny man act. This is a form of classical humour (also known as a Double act or a comedy duo) utilized by the greats such as Abbott & Costello, Laurel and Hardy, and many others. It arose out of Vaudeville and British music hall tradition.

I find this form of comedy timeless when executed well, and these two actors definitely know their way around the bit.

But the real point is, it made me laugh my ass off the whole way through.

Oh did I mention this film is Shane Black’s directorial debut?

So that’s pretty neat.

I’d say a few words more about this delightful picture -

however it’s the holidays and as you can assume, I’m already behind on chores, feeling unenthused.

So this time it’s just two short reviews.

_________________________________

Did you think I’d continue to rhyme?

Well fine, it’s Christmas time, snowing as the sleigh-bells chime.

More than “eight hundred and sixty-eight” words

that’s where I draw the line.

Ho Ho Ho.

Ratings:

Diehard 9.5/10

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 8.5/10

-Best served with eggnog or hot-cocoa. White rum optional.

 (But not really.)

Note: Where alcoholic drinks are legal, you must be the age of majority in your country, province, or state to drink alcohol. (All articles with alcoholic beverage recommendations will soon be amended to include this statement.)