Written by: Lee Fenton

Is it possible that Pam Greer being in Ghosts of Mars is both the best thing it has going for it – and somehow, the worst? This question (and a myriad of others), need to be posed to filmmaker John Carpenter. Of course, it would still be mandatory to heap uber-amounts of praise on him for his many other successful and groundbreaking projects. Then I would demand an in-depth explanation on the filmmaking process of Ghosts of Mars. Like a car-wreck, it’s hard to not want to know how it happened.

It is easy to like almost every choice conceptually in this film, and yet hate the way that John Carpenter chose to execute them. I think that's why some have started a cult following of this movie, and seek to defend it. Ghosts of Mars had the makings of being Carpenter's magnum opus, instead it seemingly put him off of filmmaking for a full decade and made him consider quitting Hollywood forever. Not to mention, he lost the studio (Sony) fourteen million dollars against a budget of twenty-eight million – meaning he only made back half of their investment – not a good look, for one of the most accomplished horror directors of the 1980s. This might be the reason why Sony Pictures took so long to establish itself as a viable producer of films.

But what do I know?

HERE ARE 10 REASONS WHY GHOSTS OF MARS IS A BAD, BAD, BAD, MOVIE

1. It's not a space-western. It claims to be but it is not. Star wars, Firefly, etc are space- westerns. This is just shot on a backlot featuring LOTS of bad matte paintings.

There's a difference.

2. Pam Grier is a treasure. Foxy Brown kicked major ass. Tarantino showed us that when a director uses her properly; she owns the screen and brings that exploitation-era 'camp' to a character and it works. This movie just exploits her good will, and in return she gives the worst performance - I've ever seen from her.

Not okay.

3. I could make this film. On a shoe-string budget. What the fuck John Carpenter?!

4. This movie made me hate Ice Cube for a short while.

5. This movie made me hate Doom for longer.

Did John Carpenter make a bad Doom movie before the bad actualy Doom (2005) movie came out? I think he did.

6. This movie cast Natasha Henstridge as a lead (good choice). And yet she never turned into a wicked, sexy, cool alien. Err I mean a ‘Ghost of Mars’. But seriously, alternately they had her barely kick-ass and instead writhe around from drug addiction for the second half of the run-time? Whatever. (bad choice)

7. Ghosts of Mars chose to have members of an out-of-work 'Kiss' tribute band fill-in for extras. Then they called them zombie-ghosts-of-mars and spent time explaining this shit. As if it's a plot detail, that REALLY needs explaining…

Here I’ll explain it much quicker.

Cocaine. 

8. Did I mention this film also made me hate Jason Statham? Yeah - it did that.

9. John Carpenter spent MORE money on this than ANY OTHER FILM. Like is that crazy? This garbage cost more than Halloween, The Thing, Christine, Escape from New York, Big Trouble in Little China, In The Mouth of Madness.... Need I go on?

If you don't believe me, go ahead – check for yourself.

10. John Carpenter revealed that he had become burnt out after he had made this film and made the decision of leaving Hollywood for good. It would not be until nine years later that he made a full feature film, which was The Ward(2010). [1]

[1]https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0228333/trivia/

PS: If you watch John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars... You might need to remind yourself why you like some of  these actors in the first place. So here's a nifty list of films that they feature in (individually) & happen to give spectacular performances! Marathon these and it'll be sure to wash the taste of Ghost of Mars out of your mouth.

__________________________________

Pam Grier: Foxy Brown, Jackie Brown, Cinnamon

Jason Statham: Snatch, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Revolver, Crank

Ice-Cube: Friday, Three Kings, The High Note, Next Friday

Natasha Henstridge: Species, The Whole Nine Yards, The Whole Ten Yards,

BTW I’ve seen all but two of these movies and I imagine the two that I haven’t - are assuredly still much, much, better than Ghosts of Mars. 

Enjoy.